That’s right! It’s that
time of year again. With the champions of the world crowned and the
Pro Bowlers back from Hawaii, what is the one thing that all fantasy football and NFL fans are
buzzing about? No, not the draft (not just yet anyway) – it’s FootballDocs’
2nd Annual Cheerleader Rankings of course.
Before we get to the rankings, the Docs have a little rant to address.
Why on earth do some NFL teams not have a cheerleader web page?? For
goodness sake, even some college teams have their cheerleaders up on the
web. In the course of evaluating the best that the NFL has to offer,
we found a little over a half-dozen teams that didn’t have a link to their
cheerleaders. That is simply inexcusable. One of two things is
going on here:
1. They don’t have cheerleaders. What is football without cheerleaders?
A lot less attractive, that’s what.
2. These teams simply do not have the cheerleaders up on their web
page. Aren’t they proud of the ladies that cheer for them week in and
week out?
Regardless of the reason, these teams need to step it up, get a cheerleader
web page, and link to that page from the official team site. We won’t
list those teams that don’t have this feature, but if it they happen to be
one of your favorite teams…let them know you want cheerleaders!
OK, now that we have that out of the way, we’ll continue. The rankings
were compiled after taking a “close” look at all the squads. Factors
that were weighted heavily included: uniform quality, cheerleader photo variety, quantity, and … other intangibles
(can’t give away the entire formula -- and yes, these geeks do actually have a formula. Would you expect anything less
from the
Docs?). For the record, all of the teams in the NFL have a multitude of exceptionally
talented ladies with big … hearts and lots of beautiful … spirit. Only
the top 10 cheerleading squads are listed because nothing is more damaging
to a fan than finding out that your team’s cheerleaders are the ugl … ahem
… least talented in the NFL. If your team didn’t make the top ten,
just assume they were ranked number 11.
10. San Francisco 49ers (Last Year - N.R.)
The 49ers’ cheerleaders have come a long way to crack our top ten.
They have managed to tap into what we like to call “Cowgirl Fever.”
This is when a group of cheerleaders manages to put some of the cowgirl theme
into their uniforms. You know, tassels, knee high boots, short skirts,
cowboy hats, vests, etc. Squads that capitalize on this theme seem
to have some of the best uniforms in the biz. The 49ers’ squad has
managed to put some of this cowgirl theme into their uniforms, although admittedly
it is a bit of a stretch, but hey, it works.
9. Denver Broncos (Last Year - 8)
The Broncos’ cheerleaders made the list last year with their unique take
on the “Cowgirl Fever.” Here in 2004, they are back on the list.
They still have some of the shortest skirts in the NFL; however, FootballDocs
denies any allegations that skirt length played any role in keeping the mile
high girls on the list.
8. Arizona Cardinals (Last Year - 5)
The Cardinals may have had another losing season, but at least their fans
have something to watch during the game. Apparently, there are still
some oases in the desert. Fans also get to enjoy a cheerleader calendar,
which is a nice move by the front office to divert attention away from a
historically bad team. Here’s hoping some of the new blood found at
WR in 2003 can help turn this ship around.
7. Carolina Panthers (Last Year - N.R.)
Out of nowhere, the Panthers’ cheerleaders have made the list. When
you get a look at these lovely Carolina ladies, you will see why the Panthers
played inspired football this season. Would the Panthers have been
able to make it to the Super Bowl without a cheerleading web page?
We don’t think so (A little motivation for those teams without a cheerleading
web page).
6. San Diego Chargers (Last Year - 2)
The Charger Girls are still one of the best cheerleading groups out there.
They slid from second last year all the way to number six this year.
That slide wasn’t so much of a factor of them getting worse as it was other
squads really making improvements. One area the Charger Girls could
improve on is their uniforms. The uniforms are good, but could be better.
Still, if you don’t go check out these ladies, you are missing out.
5. Washington Redskins (Last Year - N.R.)
Don’t tell the Redskins faithful, but we have a pretty good idea where the
inspiration for the cheerleading uniforms came from (ahem – Dallas – ahem
– Cowboys). There is nothing to be ashamed of here. Sometimes
the best way to make it to the top is to find out what the successful squads
are doing. The Redskins’ cheerleaders have some very nostalgic uniforms
with a seemingly 70’s vibe.
4. Miami Dolphins (Last Year - 3)
This group is still holding on strong. They have some great Santa’s
little helper cheerleading outfits, video trading cards, and more. (Be sure
to flip the video trading cards over to the back). Great regular season
uniforms are par for the course for these lovely ladies of south beach.
3. Houston Texans (Last Year - 4)
The Texans’ cheerleaders have moved up a spot this year. The Cowboys
had better lookout, as there are clearly plenty of beautiful … ly talented
young ladies in the state of Texas. Goes to show you that there is
more than just good draft picks to building a successful expansion team.
2. Philadelphia Eagles (Last Year - 7)
At this point in the rankings, even the ug … least talented girl on the squad
is a top performer. The Eagles’ cheerleaders jumped onto the rankings
last year with their risqué’ lingerie calendar. Well, they are
at it again, and apparently last year’s exposure on the FootballDocs’ Cheerleader
rankings really helped kick off some of these girls’ careers. After
appearing on the FootballDocs’ 2002-2003 rankings, 27 girls appeared in FHM
Magazine (December issue). Last year the lovely ladies of the Eagles were
at #7, but they have rocketed up the chart to #2. The only thing keeping
this group from reaching the upper echelon is better uniforms. Once
they get those in place, the “Champs of Cheer” had better lookout for
this squad.
1. Dallas Cowboys (Last Year - 1)
Well, the “World Famous Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders” are at the top of the
list once again. Let us give you a little background on this selection.
We knew that this group was going to be a top contender, so we saved them
for last. After checking out the Eagles, we thought the #1 slot may
be a done deal. However, the Cowboys proved to us once again why they
are the champs. Congratulations to the Two-Time and still Undisputed
Champions of Cheerleading, The Dallas Cowboys’ Cheerleaders.
